I know as a teacher I shouldn’t pick favorites, but I can’t help it. I see Lawrence* every Friday. He’s in one of my 3rd grade classes. The first time he came to my class he stumbled on my steps and so I told him to be careful. As he slowly lifted his limbs and struggled for balance, I realized why he had stumbled. Lawrence is one of my special needs students and his limited motor capabilities make it hard for him to do something as simple as climbing up two steps. I reached down to hold his hand so he could keep his balance as he walked up and he simply looked at me and gave me one of the most beautiful smiles I had ever seen. In that single second, my heart was a goner.
Every week when he comes to my class he meets me at the door with a huge hug, his little round arms only coming around my knees. I can’t help but break out of my stern teacher mode to smile back at him. This past week, one of his classmates commented “You love art teacher, don’t you Lawrence?” He just smiled and continued walking to his seat as I grinned. It’s not just me who has fallen in love with Lawrence, I can tell that his classmates love him as well. David* who sits across from him always helps him and explains things when he gets frustrated. It’s a very humbling and wonderful thing to see. His impaired motor skills make it hard for him to hold pencils and paintbrushes or mix clay, and he speaks firmly but haltingly. When he gets upset he shouts and shakes his round head furiously, but when he’s excited or happy his smile can save the day.
Being a teacher is one of the most difficult things I will ever do in my life. There have been days when I’ve questioned myself and wondered if I made the right choice to switch careers. I wonder if I’m the right person to be doing this, if I’m as qualified as I’ve led them to think I am. There are days when I wonder if I’m even making a difference in the lives on my students. But on days that I see Lawrence, I don’t think any of those things. I see his smile, and suddenly, I’m happy to be here.
*names have been changed
